Antidotes for the Four Horsemen with Couples

Having a healthy relationship with your partner is key for long-lasting meaningful experiences as a couple. It is very normal and expected for couples to have conflicts, as well as to feel a wide variety of emotions including, but not limited to, anger, sadness, happiness, excitement, guilt, pleasure, joy, and disappointment. Healthy couples communicate effectively, manage conflict well, show grace, and choose each other every day.  

We have a good amount of research focusing on areas of growth as well as elements that can lead to a relationship being unhealthy or ending. The Four Horseman represent four specific elements that are linked to relationship distress. These are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Fortunately, there are antidotes for each of these that can protect your relationship. See this article that describes The Four Horseman and how you can self-regulate and improve and protect your relationship. 

 The Four Horsemen: The Antidotes

I hope you have a long-lasting, meaningful, and joyful relationship! 

Mental Health in Youth Sports

 It can be thrilling to watch your young athlete score a goal, make a touchdown, hit a home run, or win a race. Kids and teens can have loads of fun competing, training, being part of a team, growing individually, building a relationship with a coach, and challenging themselves. Parents can connect with other families, support their children, and model resilience. Participating in sports can be a wonderful part of childhood and adolescence. It can also present the opportunity for parents to experience intense emotional investment in their child’s success or failure, as well as demands for financial, time, personal, and family commitments. While your child (or you) may desire to become a professional athlete (and for some very, very select few, this is a reality), it is very important to consider the role sports participation has in your lives so that your child has a positive and healthy experience.  

Here are some articles with data and practical strategies for incorporating sports in your family life. 

Burnout in Young Athletes: How to Keep the Fun in Sports

Sports Specialization and Intensive Training in Young Athletes

Have fun supporting your little athlete!

Dr. Laura

Talking to the Pediatrician About Mental Health

 As the school year is approaching, many families will be bringing their kids and teens to the pediatrician for well-visits and sports physicals. This is a great time to check-in with any mental health concerns and communicate them to your provider. The pediatrician can then make a referral to an appropriate mental health professional who can further help in the area of concern. Here is an article with some strategies to help youth share how they are thinking and feeling overall as well as some concerns to look out for. 

I hope this is a helpful resource. 

 https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Pages/How-to-Talk-with-Your-Child-and-Their-Pediatrician-About-Mental-Health-Concerns.aspx 

Inside Out 2

 Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust have returned for another fantastic production of Inside Out. The sequel to the original delivers a fun, accurate, and science-backed depiction of human emotions relative to developmental stages and seasons of life. In Inside Out 2, we meet Embarrassment, Boredom aka Ennui, Envy, and (my favorite) Anxiety. The story is compelling, interesting, and sweet. Inside Out 2 provides an opportunity to visualize the inner experience of emotions, social dynamics, developmental changes, as well as the outcome of when one emotion tries to take over.  This film does a wonderful job of capturing the importance of integrating emotions.  

I have included several resources that go deeper into the science behind Inside Out 2. There are spoilers, so if you haven’t yet watched the movie, please do! It is worth your time and appropriate for all ages.  

What Inside Out 2 Reveals About the Diversity of Emotions

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/inside_out_2_Reveals_About_the_Diversity_of_Emotions

The Science Behind Inside Out 2

https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/what_we_do/event/the_science_behind_inside_out

The 5 C's of Media Use

As we transition from the structured school year into the summer months, many families experience stress about how to handle the change. Some kids and teens will go to camps, enrichment programs, or try new activities. Families may take vacations or day trips together or have lots of unstructured free time at home. One common challenge for parents, especially when the regular school day routine is different, is deciding on appropriate screen time and content exposure allowances. The American Academy of Pediatrics provides guidance on this issue using an easy-to-remember plan, the 5 C’s. Review this link for the details.

Kids & Screen Time: How to Use the 5 C's of Media Guidance

Benefits of Unstructured Play

As parents, it can be very anxiety provoking allowing your children freedom to engage in risky play or to take a walk on their own to the corner grocery store, but these experiences are actually very beneficial for them. It is important for kids and adolescents to build independence, solve problems, develop skills, and learn how to safely navigate their world to gain mastery of their environment.  

I have included an article explaining some of the wonderful benefits of allowing unstructured time for your children. This will build your endurance for discomfort as well as teach your kids how to be interdependent adults. 

The Many Wondrous Benefits of Unstructured Play

How Parents Can Help Children with Anxiety or OCD

 A very important part of successful treatment of children is the collaboration with parents. Parents are a key part of their child’s team. This article provides some helpful suggestions for parents of children with anxiety or OCD. I hope it is helpful.  

Supporting Your Child with Anxiety and/or OCD - Q&A

https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/supporting-your-child-anxiety-andor-ocd-qa