What Would Someone You Admire Do?

 

This month, I am sharing a podcast with Dr. Samantha Boardman, a psychiatrist who specializes in the use of positive psychology and has an excellent-worth-following blog.  

This episode talks about the powerful thought-feeling-behavior connection- how our doing, thinking, and feeling matters.  Dr. Boardman also discusses coping strategies for anxiety and how to apply meditation strategies. 

I challenge you to consider these ideas: 

In this moment, what would someone you admire do? 

Have you been handling this situation differently?  

How are your behaviors related to your thoughts? 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Leave a comment below.

Screen Time

The question of how much time children and teens should be spending on screens is a common concern for parents. We live in a technology driven world. Children are immersed in advancements early on, both at home and in the classroom.  But how much is too much? Where is the line drawn between appropriate, helpful, and purposeful time using screens and inappropriate, excessive, and harmful time engaged with screens? 

These resources outline some recommendations and useful information regarding the use of screen time in families. It is my hope that each family can develop an appropriate media plan and can enjoy using technology to advance social-, emotion-, and cognitive-growth, and connection with the world. 

Digital Guidelines: Promoting Healthy Technology Use for Children- American Psychological Association 

Family Media Plan- American Academy of Pediatrics 

Where We Stand: Screen Time- American Academy of Pediatrics 

Is Screen Time Toxic for Teenagers?- Greater Good Science Center 

Lessons from Winnie the Pooh

If you’re ever in need of a pick-me-up, you may find one in the stories of Christopher Robin and the Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. We recently enjoyed a movie trip to see the new feature film (I will do my best to avoid spoilers) and loved it!  

The movie depicts the busy, stressed out, anxious, and worried life many adults experience day to day. We easily get caught up in work responsibilities, financial worries, parenting tasks, and chores.  We lose touch with our imagination, forget to rest, and over-schedule our families. 

In this movie, we learn a few valuable lessons. First, work is important, but how important is it?  Pooh wonders if work is more important than a balloon (see the movie for context). Second, relaxation and self-care matters.  As Pooh says, “Doing nothing often leads to the very best kind of something.” And third, spend time with your family and tell them you love them unconditionally. 

Do something fun and meaningful today! Just a tip-that may include doing nothing at all.  

The Days are Long

Happy July! This post totally snuck up on me. I can’t believe how quickly time can pass, especially as a parent. 

I remember reading “the days are long but the years are short” (Gretchen Rubin) a few years ago and feeling impacted by this message.  The days can feel so long, especially when we have so many activities to do, tasks to accomplish, people to see, and places to go. 

As parents, we may struggle with maintaining the master schedule. We try to make sure our kids take every opportunity that comes their way and feel bad if they miss something.  We arrange minute-to-minute schedules to accomplish the daily tasks of food shopping, laundry, and cooking. We say yes to extra work responsibilities.  We try to find time to have our own fun, shower, and, yes, even time to use the bathroom. 

In all of the busyness, are we savoring the moments of traveling, shopping, cleaning dirty little hands, making lists, or going to birthday parties? Are we slowing down from all of the doing and focusing on just being? Are we able to exchange one extra-curricular activity for a family game night? 

Spend time together. 

Right now, I am savoring this moment when my 3-year-old (as he is watching me write this) said this post was a “nice list” and when I send it to somebody they will say “wow and put it on their refrigerator.”  I don’t know if you will post this on your fridge, but hopefully you will go out and enjoy the day! 

Pay attention to those little ones. 

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Did you know that Mr. Rogers has had an impact on childhood development for over 40 years? I am sharing a brief video of Mr. Rogers from the late 1960s that illustrates several important aspects of childhood and the impact us grown-ups have on children.

As you watch, consider the role of these factors in your and your children's lives: trust, media, violence, coping with emotions, problem solving, communication skills, and kindness.

Then, catch an old episode of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood or the newer spin-off, Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood.

How do you want to raise your children? What lessons are we teaching kids with popular media today?

Our Struggles Can Be Beautiful

On most of our walks as the season changed from winter to spring, my oldest son pointed out that the leaves are "trying to grow" in the sweetest most optimistic voice. At 3 years old, our perspective may not yet be influenced by negativity from the world around us. This observation has prompted me to watch how the leaves on one of my favorite trees along our route grow. For months, the tree was barren and devoid of liveliness, as were the neighboring trees. At first, we noticed tiny yellow buds on the edges of the branches. We were surprised by all of the details they displayed and how these buds did not seem to resemble the beginning of a leaf. As the weather grew warmer and the days longer, these buds grew more and finally peaked into a large green leaf. With this, the tree became alive again. 

On some days, our life may feel barren and empty. These feelings may even last a whole season. With our weather adjusting between cold and warm days, the leaves were struggling to grow- or as my 3-year-old sees it, "trying" to grow. Our struggles teach us how to harness resilience, be patient, overcome obstacles, and transform something empty into joy. 

Pay attention to the details and challenges in your life.  With time, resilience, self-care, and hope, they may develop into something beautiful. 

Can you escape in time?

Picture this: You are locked in a room with no windows and can't get out until you solve a series of challenging clues, riddles, or simple math problems.  If you are starting to get very anxious by this imagery, then going to an escape room might be a good exposure for you. 

When we are anxious, our natural fight or flight reaction kicks in gear. As we have learned before, this response changes our physiological experience. We may experience shallow breathing, faster heart rate, sweaty palms, or tingling in our arms or legs. Because these sensations are uncomfortable or just plain scary, we tend to avoid situations that trigger our anxiety. While this seems like a great idea since the feelings seems to go away or dissipate and we feel better. However, this is only a short-term temporary fix. The next time we are faced with the situation or something similar, we are likely to feel the same level or even increased anxiety. Then we avoid, feel better, then worse again. The cycle continues.  

Once we assess the true danger of a situation, we can work towards no longer avoiding situations that trigger anxiety when they are in fact safe. 

Recently, I was locked in that room I described earlier as part of an escape room game.  We had 1 hour to complete a series of puzzles, challenges, and questions in order to get the keys to be let out of the room. The puzzles were harder than I expected. We didn’t get out in time! Does that mean I am writing this now in the corner of that very room since I have been trapped there for several weeks? No. We were not truly trapped. Once the hour was up, an employee came in and explained the remaining answers to us and let us go.  

This experience, while anxiety provoking, is a fun way of exposing us to a fear and worry. There are many types and levels of rooms and challenges. The themes vary too- from light and fun (we did one where you are stuck in a bakery) to scary (themes from horror movies). 

If you worry about being in closed spaces, consider an escape room exposure. Grab some friends, challenge yourself, and have some fun! I suspect that you will grow and you will be able to cope with being "trapped." Remember, we are rarely every truly trapped in any situation. Anxiety can make us feel that way.  Let's test anxiety and see if it is telling the truth or not. Good luck!