Inner peace

Have you ever experienced some days where you couldn't access a moment of peace? Days of craziness, hustle and bustle, or stress?  

This busy holiday season can really bring up the stress levels. While we can’t control the number of holiday event invitations we receive, the expectations of those around us, the traffic jams, the flight delays, getting sick, the change in schedules, or the weather, there is a lot that we can control. 

This season (and maybe moving forward, always), we can find that inner peace during all of the phone calls, drop offs, doctor visits, gift wrapping, and traveling. The peace that hides inside while we endure stress. The peace that wants to spread outward to others. 

I am going to challenge myself to experience peace throughout my day. Bringing it out, feeling it, enjoying it, and savoring it are all under my control. When we are able to feel peace, we can actually change the way we respond to situations. When we change the way we respond to situations, we influence the reactions of others and the outcome. 

Looks like we have more control than we thought. I hope you find your inner peace today. 

“Don’t put that in your mouth!” 

 “Stop doing that!”   

"No!" 

When I was in graduate training, one of the most helpful and useful tools I learned was the dead person rule. No, I am not about to launch into some morbid explanation about behavior.  

The dead person rule refers to a parenting behavior management principle. Avoid using language that a dead person could do. Instead, use language that specifically describes what someone should be 

doing rather than what they should not be doing. 

Instead of "Don't touch that,"  say "Put your hands on the table." 

Instead of "Stop pulling your sister's hair," say "Please move your seat over there." 

This helps the child to understand what is expected of them and helps to redirect unwanted behavior in a non-punitive way. 

Try it and see if it helps to create a calmer and clearer environment for your family

Parenting: New Perspectives

As a parent of a preschooler and an infant, I have developed a different perspective of many elements from my professional training. I didn't really truly know how challenging parenting can be until I lived it.  

Here are just a few concepts that I have gained a new and different appreciation for after becoming a parent: 

How challenging managing typical toddler behavior can be. 

How stimulus control, when children respond a certain way to one stimulus, (I.e., one parent) and a different way to another, affects behavior. 

How easy it is to take non-compliance personally.  

How easy it is to resort to yelling. 

The pressure to do more. 

The pressure to do less. 

Increasing awareness of possible judgment. 

Increasing awareness of parenting expectations. 

How intense sleep deprivation really is. 

The challenges faced when planning child care. 

How every second of your life must be accounted for.  

How exciting a child- free 30 min trip to Target can be. 

How exciting witnessing childhood milestones can be. 

How often we check and make sure our children are breathing. 

How easy it is to say "stop" and "no" instead of "keep the plate on the table" and "yes, you can have some after dinner." 

What rushing truly is like. 

How spit up and a poop explosion can dramatically affect your schedule. 

How precious sleep is. 

The importance of family time. 

The importance of prioritizing your marriage. 

The desire to have multiple roles. 

How much anxiety can be present when making parenting decisions. 

How scary ER visits are. 

The challenges of caring for a sick child. 

The challenges of caring for a healthy child. 

How deep love can go. 

Our appreciation of life events and circumstances change as we have more experiences throughout our life span. I am eager to see how my perspective changes in these areas as my children grow.  

How has your perspective changed?