Wait it Out

Have you suffered from an anxiety disorder? Have you experienced a panic attack before? Have you felt like anxiety would never end?  

Feeling anxious is incredibly uncomfortable. You may feel sweaty. You may feel that you are not getting enough air in. You may feel sick. You may feel like your heart is racing. You may feel a tight chest, tingly hands, or sweaty palms. You may think this will never end. You may think you’re dying. You may think that something has gone terribly wrong with your body. 

Anxiety is a normal human emotion. We all experience anxious feelings during our lives. Anxiety is supposed to show up when we are in danger, such as being chased by a mountain lion or driving during a white-out blizzard. Anxiety is also supposed to show up when we need to be motivated to prepare for something, such as a test, job interview, or meeting someone new. 

Anxiety becomes problematic when it shows up and we are not in danger or we do need to be prepared. Anxiety is problematic when it shows up in a very loud and excessive, noisy way disproportionate to the situation (for example, having your mind “go blank” when taking a test). 

One of the best things you can do to cope with anxiety is to just let it be. 

Wait it out. 

Anxiety will not last forever. It is temporary. 

One of the best ways I have seen this described was on a recent episode of This is Us. Real anxiety symptoms and panic attacks have been depicted on this show.  One of the characters disclosed how he suffered from anxiety and how his mom helped him. His mother would pour seltzer into a cup and say that this represents anxiety. All he had to do was wait for the bubbles to settle.  

Wait for the bubble to settle. Wait for the anxiety to pass. It will- that is how your body was designed. 

Of course, anxiety can pass quicker if you use other coping skills such as deep breathing or telling yourself you’re not in danger. The key here- it passes even if you do nothing. 

So, just wait. 

Learning From The Good Place

I love it when our mainstream entertainment teaches good lessons.  Check out this interesting article about building bridges between people based on what we learn from the TV show The Good Place. 

After you read the article, challenge yourself to answer these questions: 

Who can you can get to know better? 

How can you connect with that person? 

What prevents you from interacting with people you perceive as different? 

How can suffering help you grow? 

Starting School For Parents and Kids

My oldest started Kindergarten earlier this month. While I have seen many families make this transition professionally, going through it yourself is so powerful and can be very different. 

 There is so much for families to cope with during this time. There are grown-up anxiety, worries, planning, scheduling, and emotions. There are child-size worries about making friends, who to sit with at lunch, how much work there will be, and when will they be able to go back home again. 

Letting go of your child is good, healthy, and important. We can prepare them to be strong. We can teach them to be a hard-worker. We can show them how to work through conflict. We can model how to cope with big feelings. We can show them how to accept other children. We can demonstrate compassion. We can help them solve problems. 

We will grow right along with them.  As parents, we can grow stronger, more hard-working, and a better conflict resolver. We can cope with our big feelings more effectively. We can accept others, even when they are different. We can show compassion. We can be better problem solvers. 

Thank you to all of the teachers and school staff who are working so hard to develop resilience and academic strengths in our children and who are keeping them safe. 

Have a great school year! 

When to Worry About Your Child's Worry

Will you pick me up on time? 

Can I sleep in your bed? 

Am I going to get sick from touching that? 

Are monsters real? 

Do I have to go to school? 

Has your child asked you one or more of these questions? These are examples of worries that are being communicated to a parent. How do we know which are normal and expected worries and which are excessive and disruptive? How should we respond to worries? Does my child need therapy? 

For answers to these questions and detailed background information about anxiety, which is a normal human emotion, and anxiety disorders in children, watch this webinar for parents. 

Wishing you all a healthy and brave start to the school year! 

Do You Have Weeds in Your Life?

We have weeds. Big, thick, and tall weeds. I have tried mulch, landscape fabric, and sprays, and it helps a good amount. This year, I thought I finally did it. No weeds! Yay! 

I was wrong. After a few weeks, I saw the evidence. A few weeds either survived or new ones navigated their way through a tiny opening in the mulch and fabric. Untamed and free, they grow and grow to be thick and full and push out our pretty sunflowers attempting to grow.  

Back to the drawing board...I think I will try to de-root the surviving weeds next and see if that helps. 

Do you have any weeds in your life? Are you suppressing negative feelings? Are you avoiding taking risks to grow? Are you letting weeds grow wild? Are you forgetting to nurture your flowers?  

Is anxiety, depression, anger, or jealousy taking over your life?  

If your life feels full of weeds, look for the flowers trying to grow. Get at the root of the weeds and challenge yourself to face the scary and negative feelings.  You may need to try different strategies to see what works best for you. 

If needed, seek the support of a psychologist. We can help! 

The Secret Life of Pets 2

Do you believe the world is a terrible and frightening place? Are you nervous each time you go to a new place? Do you stress when your children separate from you? Are you scared to take risks? Do you have trouble relaxing? 

These are just a few of the elements depicted in the new The Secret Life of Pets movie.  

I won’t give you any spoilers in this post, so don’t worry! 

Easier said than done, right? Worry is so common and a hard behavior to break. However, it is very treatable and it is possible to live a more worry-free life. 

The Secret Life of Pets 2 depicts how anxiety can develop, how we can be overprotective of our loved ones, and how we can make our world really small. The movie also shows how important and beneficial challenging worries can be.  

If you are a parent, child, or just movie-going lover, go ahead and see this movie. Then challenge yourself to face a fear! 

The Importance of Play

Play is so vital and important for both children and adults. For several years in my practice, I have observed many families rushing from school to multiple after school structured activities for multiple children with multiple conflicts. Kids express feeling anxious and overwhelmed. Our high achieving students struggle with balancing clubs, sports, and HW and when to turn down additional responsibilities. Parents struggle with which opportunities to take and pass on.  

This Ted Talk illustrates the importance of play from a biological perspective and the relationship between play and mental health. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bg-GEzM7iTk