Couples can sometimes find themselves in an unhealthy cycle of communication issues, misunderstandings, intimacy discomforts, and conflict. You may have heard about the “Four Horsemen” related to couples, a series of unhelpful and hurtful behaviors that harm relationships. Here is an excellent description of these patterns as well as some strategies for couples to improve their relationship.
Balancing parenthood with any other aspect of life is a challenge. Becoming a parent presents some amazing opportunities to face anxiety and stress. Through it all and during whatever stage of parenting you may be at now, taking care of yourself is essential. Here is an excellent article with some practical and realistic strategies for self-care as a parent. Finding a Self-Care Ritual That Works For You
To avoid spoilers, read this post by Dr. Kanaris, sex therapist and psychologist, first. It’s not what you think!
Then, read on...
Is technology serving you well or do you feel like you are being controlled by your phone, emails, social media, or other screens? There are excellent ways that technology can be a wonderful tool. We can connect with people in real-time across the world, keep in touch with teachers and students or start therapy. We can learn about almost any subject, and track our steps, food and water intake, sleep, and mood. We can make new friends, date, and work. I challenge you to check in on yourself- is technology a tool or your boss? How is your digital wellness?
Checking in on you this month. How are you doing? We have been in this collective trauma for over a year, and this is going to impact all of us. There was a recent article shared about the “blah” feeling many people have been experiencing during these later stages of the pandemic. I am sharing this with you here.
I encourage you to fully experience your emotions and express them in an appropriate way. This does not mean don’t cry but rather communicate, cope, and collaborate. If that involves letting tears flow, let them flow. It is ok and normal-no need to apologize for this.
Practice good self-care with behaviors that rejuvenate and refresh you. Get a healthy amount of sleep, eat nutritious meals, exercise, spend time with family and friends, and get outside. Challenge yourself with new activities, learning something new, or facing a fear.
You can stay healthy and have fun too!
Happy Spring!
The days are longer and the weather is nicer. I want to encourage you to embrace the environment and enjoy outdoor activities as much as possible.
Here are some ways to be mindful and optimize your day:
Feel the warmth of the sun on your body- pay attention to the sensation on your skin.
Appreciate the weeds- they are a sign of life and warm weather.
Tend to the weeds- choose the stuff that needs to go in your life and don’t let this takeover.
Smell flowers- embrace different scents.
Take a mindful walk- notice details around you.
Spend time with others- connect with friends, family, and neighbors outside.
Enjoy some time outside!
There are many opportunities for challenging your anxiety in everyday life. Many of you who have suffered with anxiety or OCD already know this because you see how often you encounter a trigger either at work, at school, in the store, on your phone, or on your TV screen. When anxiety rises in response, your first reaction may be to avoid the trigger. You look away from a scene, change the channel, turn the other direction, leave a store, avoid going to school, or leave work early. When you avoid, you may feel immediate relief and thus interpret that situation as something you needed to escape or avoid for your own safety. While you may feel better in the moment, you will still feel anxiety when faced with the trigger in the future. Avoidance reinforces anxiety in this way. The best way to manage anxiety when it takes hold is to work through it and not avoid it. This means saying: “I am scared, but I am going to do it anyway. I can do something that is hard and scary.” When you challenge anxiety, you will grow and learn to respond to anxiety provoking situations in a healthier way. You will learn to delay getting that relief that comes from immediate escape to get the healthier, enduring relief of healthy management of anxiety that comes from exposing yourself to challenging situations.
It is important to remember that anxiety is a valuable and a much-needed biological response. Before you decide to practice exposure, decide if your anxiety is giving you important information about getting to safety because you are actually in or about to be in danger (e.g., getting in the car with a drunk driver) or if you are dealing with excessive anxiety that is trying to prevent you from living in a meaningful way (e.g., calling a friend on the phone). Listen to your anxiety to keep you safe when in danger and stand up to it when it is sending you false alarms.
Remember that a psychologist can help you in this journey. Reaching out for help is a form of exposure too!
I hope you grow and do something that is scary!
Happy New Year!
Do you feel in need of some inspiration? I have compiled some fun and inspiring ideas based on several family friendly movies. I hope that you may change your perspective, set a new goal, learn to appreciate your strengths and weaknesses, and enjoy a movie with someone you care about. I have tried to avoid any spoilers!
Jingle Jangle: Believe in yourself. Be patient. Embrace science, math, and technology skills. Learn from others. Teach others. Use your imagination.
Soul: Explore your purpose. Find your passion. Pay attention to the simple things in life. Discover your neighborhood. Experience flow. Resolve conflict with family and friends. See the world differently. Smell a flower.
Meet the Robinsons: Know that families are made differently. Be kind to others. Appreciate those who support your goals. Keep trying. Embrace failure- it's a good thing! Help others.
Ratatouille: Try something new. Accept help. Learn to do something you never thought you could. Step outside of your comfort zone. Expand your network. Embrace community.
A Wrinkle in Time: Love hard and deep. Test out the limits of possibility. Wait. Modify your plans and ideas. Know your faults and see them as gifts. Change your perspective. Remember that you don’t always know how others are struggling. Find your friends and family who you can stay together with.
May you have a year that is filled with joy, love, good health, and safety.
